Trust

I fully trust myself
I fully trust this body
I fully trust in what I know
I fully trust in me with my every cell
In the first couple of years when I have  just started living in Sydney, I was looking for creative work & gigs. And I used to seriously suck at interviews. People liked me on paper, liked my experience, but when they met me, something would just go wrong. I almost never got the job. This was getting worse every time I didn’t get the gig.
After months of frustration, I realised that with my move to another country, I have lost something that used to be important to me – my  daily meditation practice. As it has worked wonders for me before, I applied it as a self prescribed cure to the mess and anxiety n my head.  Within a few weeks, once my mind has calmed, everything seemed clearer. Suddenly, my interviews were going better and better. I remember in one day, I got three job offers, including one in Yahoo. My skills didn’t change. The only thing that changed was my own trust in myself.
When you feel trust deep inside of your body, you can interact with the world in a very different way. You don’t interact from your skin – from what you appear to be – you meet people from deep inside of you – and people feel it. They can’t put their finger on it, but they can feel it. They can trust you, if you can trust yourself.
Trust is a vulnerable word.
Trust is a choice to place power, vulnerability, love into something or someone. We trust our partners, families, close friends.  For most of us, it  takes work and time to to mature into learning to place trust in ourselves.  I’m better at it these days. What is helping me is the felt distinction between what trust feels like – and what it doesn’t feel like. Lack of trust for me means tense muscles, jaw, shoulders,and inability to breathe easily. Trust on the other hand means my whole back body comes online. My kidneys light up and warm me up from inside. My stomach and belly release, breath eases down.
If you have a chance today, place your hands on your stomach and lie down or sit down.
Contemplate on what trust means to you.
What does trust feel like to you?

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